Ibiza, but make it Chic As Fuck
There’s Ibiza — and then there’syourIbiza. Not the one of neon cocktails and yacht parties with crypto bros. The one behind closed gates, unmarked paths, and whispered names. The one where old-money elegance meets barefoot Mediterranean glamour.
STAY: HIDEAWAYS THAT KNOW HOW TO SHUT UP.
✦ La Granja Ibiza
A members-only farmhouse hidden in the hills of Sant Mateu. Earthy, soulful, candlelit. You’ll sleep in linen sheets and wake to biodynamic breakfasts and the scent of orange blossoms.
✦ Petunia Ibiza (Es Cubells)
Bohemian but intentional. A Balearic sanctuary with views of Es Vedrà that feel like a scene out of a Slim Aarons photo shoot.
✦ Soho House Ibiza
Yes, it’s technically “known,” but you didn’t come here to play tourist. Get a sea-view room, skip the crowd, and stay for the grilled fish by the pool in absolute silence.
EAT & DRINK: CONCEAL DON’T REVEAL.
✦ Juntos House (San Mateo)
Farm-to-table food that tastes like summer. The kind of place where the owners pour your wine and nobody’s Instagramming the burrata.
✦ El Silencio (Cala Moli)
A sandy barefoot lunch spot with a brutalist aesthetic, curated soundtracks, and sea urchin on the menu. Hidden, remote, discreet.
✦ La Paloma (San Lorenzo)
You come for the homemade lemon ravioli. You stay because you met someone who used to DJ for Bowie and now lives in a finca next door.
✦ Bar 1805 (Ibiza Town)
A total contradiction: loud, poetic, absinthe-fueled — and still a secret. French anarchy in the backstreets of Dalt Vila.
Grab some ibiza souvenirs
BEACHES: IF YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW.
✦ Cala Xarraca
Turquoise waters, red rocks, no beach clubs. Just snorkels, silence, and salty skin.
✦ Atlantis (aka Sa Pedrera de Cala d’Hort)
A mystical, almost sacred site. It takes a climb and a commitment. But if you want luxury, start with nature.
✦ Experimental Beach
Part of the Experimental Group. Sunset Negronis, no attitude, and probably someone in vintage Celine sketching in a notebook nearby.
EXTRAS ONLY LOCALS MIGHT TELL YOU.
- Skip Amnesia. Go to a private villa party in Santa Gertrudis instead. If you’re meant to be there, you’ll be invited.
- Book a massage at Can Vistabella, not a spa. They’ll come to you, oils and silence included.
- Rent a vintage Mehari or a dusty Defender — not a flashy Lambo. It’s not a costume party.
- The best sound system in Ibiza? The quiet one in the hills with vinyls and two friends who get it.
A NIGHT OUT — THE CHIC AS FUCK WAY.
Put on your crinkled The Row shirt, unbuttoned just enough. Take your time. No pre-game. Maybe a mezcal. Maybe not.
Then go somewhere with a view, good jazz, a little heat, and nobody asking for your name.
book your Stay in Ibiza with us
For those who whisper the password, not scream at the bouncer.
